“Oh how the nights are long
But life is longer still
Oh how the nights are long
But the sun’s coming over the hill.
I can’t say there’s many things I wouldn’t change
There are better days gone than those that remain
But I can find joy in the sound of the rain
You have to find joy where you can.”
So three funerals in 3 days, Gaggy, Dad’s cremation then his memorial. What do we do now? I came back for five weeks with the intention of spending time with Dad, he died 3 days after I got back, so then time was focused on talking to undertakers (the most unintentionally hilarious one), booking churches, ordering flowers, picking music. My brother made an urn. And it all happened yesterday, so what do we fill our days with now?
My friends have booked me a train ticket to Newcastle for tomorrow, then I’m going to Birmingham on Monday to see some cousins and Grandad after his heart attack after that who knows?
I’ve seen some people that I’ve not seen for years and it’s made me think about things. I’ve made some predictions about my life that people think I’ll probably change my mind about but I know now that it’s likely the way things would pan out. But that’s ok, I’m letting people know how I feel about them. Which means that I can make some decisions about who I want to be and what I want to do. Sometimes we hold onto the past without realising, but at somepoint you have to draw a line and make a change. So I have two and a half weeks before I go back to work out what that change will be.